It was uncomfortable for Sydney woman Mary Jane Apron-Kaillis to admit it, but yes, she used to feel that life was unfair. Not that she wasn't grateful for what she had. Of course, she wasn’t. She had a loving husband and a good career, but what she wanted most in the world was devastatingly improbable to obtain. All she and husband Kon wanted was a baby, and nature wasn’t budging.
“Why is it so difficult for people like us, who have the ability to raise children and give them a good home…versus people who have children one after another but the children are being neglected?” she said.
The IVF process
An investigation conducted by specialists in Genea IVF (previously known as Sydney IVF in 2007) found Ms Kaillis’ eggs to be healthy; however, her husband was diagnosed with male factor infertility. This meant that his sperm count was low and whatever sperm he had had low motility.
Because of this, specialists believed that the couple would most likely never conceive naturally. It was a hard truth to accept; but, the two had been trying to conceive for ten years at that time so finally knowing the problem meant having the chance to figure out a solution.
While Ms Kaillis shares that they could have continued taking medication to boost their fertility, what they didn’t have was time. She was already in her mid-thirties when they consulted with specialists, and doctors informed them that her husband’s sperm count was only going to drop with each passing year.
Kon and Mary Jane Kaillis Source: Mary Jane Apron-Kaillis
Not wanting to lose more time, the couple decided to skip less intrusive options for an intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) instead. ICSI is a procedure in which sperm cells are directly injected into an egg.
Ms Kaillis was given birth control pills prior to the IVF cycle and she had to undergo multiple tests to check her follicles, ovaries and eggs; however, what she really had to contend with were the needles that punctured the skin on her belly.
All her injections had to be done at the same time every day, at 9pm. As Kon was working as a chef at a nearby restaurant, he was able to rush home to inject her. However, during busy nights in the restaurant, she had to do the injections herself.
"I had to close my eyes. I couldn't inject myself," she said, adding "but I said to myself, you have to be brave enough to do this because no one’s going to do this for you."
After all the injections, Ms Kaillis and her husband were called in for an aspiration or harvesting. Her husband's sperm had to be put under a microscope so that the healthiest ones could be extracted. After this process, the sperm cells were directly injected into her harvested eggs, which were then incubated for five days. For the couple, although ten of the eggs were incubated, only three were viable on transfer day. When specialists were about to initiate the transfer, one of the three started spewing 'energy', nulling its viability.
The toll and the costs
Transfer day Source: Mary Jane Apron-Kaillis
IVF is now bulk billed in certain clinics in Australia; but in 2007, one cycle was priced at $13,000. Ms Kaillis admits that she was fearful and anxious knowing that if the first cycle proved fruitless, they would not be able to afford another try.
While the process of IVF dominated the lives of the two, their family and friends were unaware of what they were going through. They didn't want a lot of people to know - just in case things didn't work according to plan. The procedure was hard enough to do; it would have been harder to explain it to everyone else.
“I was so afraid of the repercussions just in case it wasn’t successful. I would have to explain so many things. I was not prepared for that," she said, sharing that while she felt alone, Kon felt guilty that he was the one with the fertility issues.
Luckily though, the couple's bond remained strong, and explaining what they went through didn't become a painful exercise. Explaining came with the birth of their son, Zechariah, which was miraculously followed by the natural conception and birth of their daughter, Hannah, only 14 months later.
IVF proved to be successful for the couple; but, the procedure isn't always so. IVF stories are infinite, with some ending in joy while others end in heartbreak. You can keep on trying, but your arms may still be empty at the end of it all. Life can be cruel and unfair; but sometimes, it only wants you to wait a little bit longer. Sometimes, it's just a matter of time and a matter of hope.
As Ms Kaillis puts it: "Be prepared for whatever will come. I said to myself, whatever it is, I will accept it. This is our last resort. At least we tried."
Ms Kaillis pregnant with Zechariah Source: Mary Jane Apron-Kaillis
Ms Kaillis' message to her children Source: Mary Jane Apron-Kaillis
READ MORE
