When 27-year-old Ravi Jain returned home (Toronto, Canada) after his studying and working stints abroad (London and New York), his mother, Asha Jain tried to set him up for an arranged marriage.
“We, Indian parents think that finding a good bride or a groom for our children, is our responsibility. We try to find partners which will be a good match for our children by seeing how compatible the families and cultures are,” says his mother, Asha.
Ravi, after much coaxing, met a girl over a pizza date that lasted two hours.
“How am I supposed to decide in just two hours if I want to marry her?” he questioned his mom and the whole practice in general.
“I have friends who have had successful arranged marriages. They have flown to India to find a bride and have returned and are living happy lives but it is not for me,” he says.
The exercise was in vain as Ravi refused to find a partner in this fashion but the experience inspired him to write and direct a play which was ‘a turning point’ in his life.
“I wrote and directed A Brimful of Asha in 2012 after having personally undergone the experience of my parents trying to arrange a marriage for me. That play just took off because it is a common practice in so many cultures,” Ravi tells us at SBS studios in Melbourne.
The play has Ravi in the main lead with his mother, Asha playing herself in the play. Source: Supplied by Danyal Syed
Jain’s A Brimful of Asha is a hilarious play based on a true story of a man whose Indian-born parents want only the best for him, whatever his thoughts on the matter. Derailing his work, arranging prospective brides and exposing their son to unending bouts of humiliation are all just part of their job description.
The play has over six shows in Melbourne at the International Arts Festival where Ravi is the main lead with his mother, Asha playing herself.
Aided by copious tea and samosas, mother and son take to the stage to spar over the supposed failure that is his life, delivering their respective takes on marriage and freedom, tradition and modernity.
Asha might not be the trained performer her son is, but she’s a force of nature that will not be denied.
“I enjoy performing. I try to bring our generation’s perspective to the play,” says Asha, who herself had an arranged marriage with her husband in 1974.
“I met him one day with all my brothers and sisters next to us. The next day, we were engaged. We met in January, got married in February and I flew to Toronto to live with him,” she recalls.
The play gives a glimpse into two generations and the evolving tradition of arranged marriage in the Indian cultural context.
“The play invites you to our household where over chai and samosa on a dining table, we argue about everything, especially this marriage arrangement. It is every other family’s story,” says Ravi.
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New play brings ‘arranged marriage’ theme to stage at Melbourne International Arts Festival
SBS Hindi
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It gives a great glimpse into Indian culture, says Asha.
“Through this story, we have successfully taken the Indian culture and practises to the audience. After the play, they understand the concept of why we have an arranged marriage,” she says.
And is Ravi married now?
"You will have to watch the play to know that," he says.
