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'Learning from each other': How couple faces challenges of intercultural marriage
SBS Indonesian
11:26
Love has never cared much about borders, languages, or cultural differences. But when you're building a life with someone from a completely different background, there's no denying it throws up some unique hurdles.
For Emma Dainona, a 44-year-old who works as a retail worker and a singer, navigating these differences has become second nature. She spoke with SBS Indonesia about her cross-cultural marriage to her husband, David Gum.
"I learn his culture, he learns mine. At home, we just apply what works for us," said Dainona, a Perth resident of Indonesian origin whose husband is from a different culture.
Dealing with stereotypes
It's no secret that mixed-culture relationships often cop their fair share of stereotypes and judgments. Dainona considers herself lucky to have avoided direct discrimination, though she's well aware many couples in her position aren't so fortunate.
"Look, I think if people have those assumptions, we can't control what they think or believe. What matters is that we stay true to ourselves," Dainona said.
Supporting parents in Indonesia
The "sandwich generation" phenomenon—where individuals bear dual responsibilities for parents and their immediate family, both financially and emotionally—represents a common reality for many Indonesian families.
Dainona's on board with this idea. In fact, she sees caring for her parents as an integral part of loving them. Though she can't physically care for her parents, as they're thousands of kilometres away from Perth, Dainona maintains caring by providing financial support and visiting them as often as they can.
Personal identity in the surname
One of the more personal cultural differences Dainona has grappled with is whether to take her husband's surname—a common practice in Australia but not typically done in Indonesia.
A surname, for Dainona, represents cultural identity and personal autonomy. So,"for now, I'm sticking with my original name. I haven't decided about taking his surname yet. I'm still weighing up the pros and cons, and I don't want to rush into anything," Dainona said.
