Key Points
- Friends and relatives of victims of the Türkiye-Syria earthquakes may start to exhibit symptoms of trauma.
- Guilt and shame are worrying symptoms of vicarious trauma.
- Sometimes it's best to listen and "sit with" the grief of others rather than say "It's going to be OK".
More than a month after the horrific Türkiye-Syria earthquakes, the impacts for those affected may yet be felt, according to Sydney-based psychologist Shahn Baker-Sorekli*.
The trauma had been "very impactful” for communities in Australia, Mr Baker-Sorekli explained, and one of the contributing factors is that individuals here are placed in a “very difficult position” psychologically when they can’t directly effect change.
He said geographical distance made it very difficult for people to be able to feel effective in supporting relatives whether that's psychological, emotional or even practical support.
"So, you feel stuck in a situation where you feel you have limited power over an outcome and that can lead to people feeling very stressed and helpless and you can develop symptoms of anxiety, insomnia and even in some cases, it could lead to secondary trauma or vicarious trauma," Mr Baker-Sorekli said.
Differences between secondary and vicarious trauma
Mr Baker-Sorekli said secondary trauma occurred when people were exposed to a trauma indirectly.
Shahn Baker-Sorekli advises those with relatives and friends affected by the recent Türkiye-Syria earthquake to practice 'self-care' and limit consumption of distressing media coverage.
"In particular, when you have such a personal attachment to a relative and then you see such powerful images on TV, the traumatic impact is significant."
Mr Baker-Sorekli said secondary trauma may take the form of an acute reaction where people are shocked or distressed for days or weeks after the event, but these symptoms usually settled down and people "returned to normal".
However, vicarious trauma was more far more serious, he said.
"With vicarious trauma, this occurs when the exposure is more prolonged so imagine you are talking to relatives who are distressed on a regular basis, perhaps you are consuming more content on TV or online or maybe you're a volunteer and you're out in the zone," Mr Baker-Sorekli said.
"... the danger here is not only are you experiencing the symptoms of secondary trauma but your world view changes.
For example, you might become more pessimistic, or you might overestimate the danger in the world and this has significant effects on your life, for example you're more likely to succumb to other mental health conditions like depression.
Depression and other mental health issues may develop as a result of vicarious trauma, says psychologist. Credit: commons.wikimedia.org (Irais Esparza)
"So you're kind of feeling the emotions of your friend or relative in the disaster zone," Mr Baker-Sorekli said.
He said another symptom was unjustified feelings of guilt and shame.
"Other symptoms are over-identifying with victims and feeling numb, distant, detached from your usual, everyday life and difficulty with maintaining boundaries between your actual life and the problems which might be occurring for the people you're concerned about," Mr Baker-Sorekli said.
What to say to victims of disasters, war
Mr Baker-Sorekli said during times of disaster or war, it was important to find what you could do to be helpful.
"The first category is practical help, providing money or goods, clothing, water and food and the other category is direct, emotional support but beyond that, there's not a lot else you can do so sitting there worrying about it all day is going to start impacting your mental health," he said.
"You have to take care of yourself and put boundaries around how much time you spend worrying and thinking about these things because I can't be helpful to anyone if I'm completely burnt out or suffering from stress or anxiety myself."
Limit the consumption of too many graphic images - it's very good to be informed and understand what's going on but we can over-expose ourselves to these sorts of things too.
Mr Baker-Sorekli, creator of the 'My Love, Your Love' couples' therapy app, said people often did not know what to say to others experiencing grief from trauma.
"Very naturally, we all want to default to saying 'It'll be OK' or "It'll be all right' or something along those lines or 'Don't worry, it's not that bad'," he said.
"I want to point out that when we say those things, it's with good intentions. We don't want to hurt the other person and we want them to feel better but the reality is sometimes it's not going to be OK or it's not going to be OK for a long time or perhaps family members are lost and that's significant grief to deal with.
"So what I would recommend is to try to understand within yourself that you might be anxious about someone's suffering but that it's OK to just sit with their suffering.
You're better off listening to your loved ones and not trying to offer too many solutions unless you have some actual good, practical ones.
"Just actually hearing their story and being there for them is really helpful."
*Shahn Baker-Sorekli is related to one of the authors of this article, Mayada Kordy Khalil.
