Key Points
- Four Nepali girls participated in Ihi, symbolically ‘marrying’ a wood apple fruit.
- Community members say the long-held tradition protects the girls from the social stigma associated with potential widowhood.
- The practice is part of the Newa culture, which combines elements of Hinduism and Buddhism.
If it was a regular weekend, Medha Bhatta would perhaps be at a footy field or swimming pool like many other nine-year-olds.
But on this particular Saturday in May, her life was set to transform alongside three other girls from Victoria’s Newa community.
Newa people, more commonly known as the Newars, have called Kathmandu Valley in Nepal their home for millennia, practising intertwined faiths of Hinduism and Buddhism.
This was Medha’s Ihi Pa day and she was participating in a ‘marriage’ ritual alongside Swasti Tara Tamrakar, 5, Rimona Shrestha, 5, and Aashi Bajracharya, 7.
The girls were brought together for the first time to participate in a joint Ihi program at a little Nepali temple in the gardens of the Great Stupa of Universal Compassion in Myers Flat near the Victorian regional town of Bendigo.
Rite of passage
Swasti, Rimona, Medha and Aashi. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
Ihi is also known as ‘Bel Bibah’, which translates as marriage to a wood apple, the fruit of the Aegle marmelos plant.
However, there are differing accounts about whether the girls tie the nuptial knot with the wood apple or whether the fruit is just a witness to the marriage with Suvarnakumar.
There are many steps and rites to follow, just as in any Hindu wedding. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
Speaking to SBS Nepali, Subarna Tamrakar, Swasti's father, said Ihi was a process of presenting the daughter of a Newa family to the community.
“It is also the first step of teaching them about the community and the processes of society,” he said.
It marks the formal start of their cultural and religious life. Normally we engage them in Ihi when they turn five or seven (but if they miss that, we involve them when they are nine).Subarna Tamrakar
Piyush Kayastha, one of the event organisers, further explained that in the Newa culture, a female generally had three marriages.
“First is Ihi, the second is Barha or Gufa. Both of these are symbolic rituals where they wed gods. The third is to get married to another person,” he said.
As they are already married twice to gods, we, Newari people, believe the women of our community will never be widowed.Piyush Kayastha
Manju Shree Ratna Bajracharya is a Buddhist ritual priest of Kathmandu.
According to him, during Ihi, girls are given Ihi Patasi, a particular type of garment, and Bel, the wood apple.
An explanation of the importance of Ihi by Manju Shree Ratna Bajracharya in the Nepali language. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
Ihi Patasi is a symbolic gesture to inform the girls of the need to be aware of their physical growth, while Bel denotes ‘Bodhi Chitta’, or an enlightened mind.
By conferring the Bel, the parents tell their daughters to hand the fruit to their husband (upon their third marriage) and work towards attaining ‘Bodhisattva’ together.
In Mahayana Buddhism, Bodhisattva is someone who can reach Nirvana.
But for the young brides, the concept of getting married is hard to fathom.
Members of Australia's Newa community say group-organised events help promote social tolerance. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
Medha said she was excited to get all dressed up but laughed off the idea of explaining it to her friends in school.
“I will just tell them I took part in a cultural celebration,” she said sheepishly.
It was even harder for Aashi, Rimona and Swati to explain the big occasion.
‘Shagun’ or an auspicious offering being handed to Rimona Shrestha. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
While Aashi commented that it was great to be a bride lookalike, Rimona and Swati admitted difficulty coming to terms with ‘Bel Bibah.’
Priest Hem Ratna Bajracharya, who oversaw the rituals, said many people who had emigrated from Nepal were slowly forgetting the meaning of such events.
“You see, even the adults are slowly forgetting,” he said.
If you keep organising events like these regularly, the whole community will benefit as it helps to refresh the memory and learn new things.Priest Hem Ratna Bajracharya
Brides and their families pray to the elephant-headed deity, Ganesh. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
Migration spells
In recent years, Australia has seen a considerable influx of people from South Asia, predominantly from Nepal and India.
According to the Australian Census of 2021, Hinduism is the most rapidly rising religion in the country, and Nepali speakers are the second fastest-growing migrant community in Australia.
Compared to the 2016 Census, Australia’s number of Hindus has grown by 0.8 per cent.
And with this increase of Nepalis in Australia, their cultural traditions have also begun to flourish in different parts of the country.
Friends and family gather outside the Brishti Ganesh Temple. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
Until a few years ago, such community events were limited to large cities such as Sydney and Melbourne, but they are now gradually being organised in regional centres too.
The communal Ihi organised by the Brishti Ganesh Temple (BGT) is a testament to this change.
Piyush Kayastha from the BGT said it was time for Nepal to be recognised for its diverse culture and not just the Sagarmatha (the Nepali name for Mount Everest) and Lumbini (the birthplace of Siddhartha Gautama, who later became known as Shakyamuni Buddha).
He highlighted the importance of performing rites and rituals in the best possible way to pass on the culture to new generations.
“In Nepal, the observance of this event goes on for a couple of days,” he said.
We don’t necessarily have all the gear, items, expertise or money to do them here, but it is important to keep our tradition alive, to teach the newer generation and the wider community (about) our rich cultural heritage.Piyush Kayastha
Monisha Yonjan Shrestha is mum to Rozina.
She said she felt that carrying out cultural practices had become much less burdensome with the community’s growth.
“I was not born and brought up in a Newari household; I married into it,” she said.
“So, I am not familiar with the Newa culture. We were asking my in-laws to come and help us perform the rituals of Ihi, but they could not just come. But we then got hold of this community event and tagged along.”
(L-R) Medha with her mum Jenish Bhatta, Monisha Yonzan-Shrestha with her daughter Rimona, Aashi Bajracharya and Swasti Tamrakar. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
Another parent, Anil Bhatt, said that although one could privately organise Ihi, many things could be learned from participating together.
He said that such community-organised events also helped to spread social tolerance.
If we do it privately, the event can be driven by an ego, and there is more satisfaction in this.Anil Bhatta
“It feels just like we are in Nepal, with the oblation, promises made in front of the fire and having lived here (in Australia) for long enough, it feels like home here, and we can learn so much from each another.”
For Piyush Kaystha, it is about helping the community financially too.
He said just gathering the items and organising such an event would cost about $6,000 per family.
The girls also had their feet painted in traditional Aala. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
Bec Irvine was one of a few non-Nepalis who came to witness the unique Himalayan tradition.
“My partner is (a) Nepali, and I am here today to see his niece essentially ‘getting married’ to the sun," she said.
“And, yeah, it is quite incredible for me to see it, and I feel incredibly lucky that I get to be a part of the Nepali community. As someone born and raised here in Australia, I get to enjoy all the incredible, cultural elements.”
Mubiana Matakala (L) and Bec Irvine (R) with their respective partners. Credit: Abhas Parajuli
Mubiana Matakala is another member of the extended Nepali community.
“It’s lovely to see the colourful attire and the rich history of the Nepali culture, Newari to be specific,” he said.
But it’s lovely to be a part of it.Mubiana Matakala
Ihi is also spelled as Ehi or Ehee. Similarly, Bel is also spelled as Bael.
