Hundreds of thousands of people will flock to Sydney’s Oxford Street to be a part of the world-renowned Mardi Gras Parade this weekend. Many of the revellers are from corners of the world where sexual diversity is not celebrated, or even tolerated.
The latest paints a patchy global picture of sexual tolerance, showing numerous countries still criminalise homosexuality. In India, the world’s largest democracy, homosexual behaviour is outlawed under legalisation established more than a century ago. Though China has decriminalised homosexuality, gay men still face societal and familial pressure to suppress their sexual identity.
SBS spoke to two migrants who are taking part in Mardi Gras - one from India and one from China - about their journey to Australia and whether it lived up to their dreams.
Bhavesh Rathod: 'This is heaven. This is the best place to live as a gay man'
Born and raised in the small town of Gandhinagar in west India, Bhavesh tussled with the thought of coming out to his family and friends for over 30 years. But in India where homosexual behaviour is illegal and widely considered immoral, it was a risk he wasn’t prepared to take.
“I desperately wanted to tell someone but I was scared. I thought the only solution was suicide.”
In an attempt to move away from his conservative hometown, Bhavesh left for Sydney and was instantly amazed.
"I just kept walking up and down Oxford Street. It was amazing! When I walked passed all the nightclubs, I could see the gay people dancing and being happy and I thought that’s what I want to be."
Bhavesh Rathod in drag
It was a far cry from his experience back home.
“Growing up you wanted to feel like a normal person and didn’t want people to judge you,” he said, “Coming here you see, even if you’re gay or lesbian, you feel normal.
And that’s when I thought this is heaven. This is the best place to live as a gay man.”
“I just kept walking up and down Oxford Street. It was amazing! I could see the gay people dancing and being happy and I thought that’s what I want to be.”
Fifteen years on, Bhavesh says living in Sydney has allowed him to live a “life of liberation”. He has been with his partner Josh for 10 years and together they take part in drag performances, Bollywood dancing and Kamasutra-inspired theatre. He is a board member of Trikone Australasia, a LGBTI support group for South Asian people.
This weekend he will be donning a sparkly silver sari as he goes drag for the Mardi Gras Parade. Hair and makeup alone will take four hours to complete. On top of that he is heading up Trikone’s Bollywood-themed float.
“I totally agree with people who say it's the gay mecca of the Asia Pacific region. I couldn’t agree more.”
Ryan Lee: 'I spent the whole day by myself on Oxford Street. It was the first time I finally felt free'
Desperate to not be a “closet gay” like many of his Chinese gay friends, Ryan Lee left Shanghai bound for Sydney in 2009. He deliberately chose to fly in the day of the Mardi Gras parade.
“I spent the whole day by myself on Oxford Street. It was the first time I finally felt free,” he said, “Everything was new but also felt so right.”
Although he didn’t take part in the festivities that year, he said “just watching everyone else have fun was already a lot for me.”
“Although I came out when I was in China, it was only to other gay people. But in Australia you can come out to everyone so you don’t feel like you have to hide anything.”
Ryan Lee
When he eventually decided to tell his parents about his homosexuality three years later, his mother threatened to commit suicide and his father accused him of bringing shame to the family.
“My mum even called one of my Christian friends in Sydney and tried to force me to become a Christian. She thought God would change me.”
Being disowned by his family left Ryan emotionally wrecked for months.
“I had no control of my emotions. I would just cry every time I saw news about gay rights or anything like that.”
Though he reconciled with his mother, Ryan's father has never spoken to him again. Even when Ryan stayed with his parents in China last year, his father ignored him. His younger brother, who is aware of Ryan’s homosexuality, has never told his wife.
Amidst the emotional struggle, he found comfort in expressing his sexual identity freely in Sydney and, with the help of a psychologist and community support groups, he gradually gained strength again.
“It made me realise Australia is my home. This is where I want to spend the rest of my life.”
Ryan Lee (bottom left) celebrating with friends
