CONTENT WARNING: this article includes horror themes, occasional smatterings of fake blood and homicidal Christmas trees.
Krampus (2015)
Bless New Zealand, land of unrelenting genre fare and bless audiences for having enough sense to make this the No.1 film at the US Box Office for one weekend (beating out The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 and Spectre). From the guy who wrote two X-Men films comes this tale of a murdering Santa Claus demon aka Krampus. Based on a character from Alpine folklore, it features an all-star cast in Adam Scott and Toni Collette having possibly the funnest time ever as things quickly turn from a merry to a murder Christmas. Featuring the biggest budget and best special effects (mostly practical, might we add) of any film on this list, Krampus is the present we all deserve this holiday season.
Black Christmas (1974)
Fun fact: this is one of Steve Martin’s favourite films. And it’s easy to see why. No, seriously. Besides the fact that its box-office success (it made just over $US4M on a $US620,000 budget) sparked the slasher genre with Halloween and Friday The 13th following shortly thereafter, it’s actually a solid lil’ piece of filmmaking. Lois Lane herself Margot Kidder plays one of a gaggle of sorority girls who taunt a creepy caller over the phone only to then be picked off one-by-one as he goes on a murder spree on Christmas night. Driven by an almost entirely female cast and containing pretty progressive themes for the time period, Black Christmas is a cult classic that has genuine rewatch value: if you can get past all the feathered hair.
Black Christmas (2006)
In the more than 30 years since Black Christmas came and went, so too has an entire sub-genre of festive-themed slasher movies from Christmas Evil to Silent Night, Deadly Night. Majority of them are worse than spending the season at your in-laws, but surprisingly the 2006 remake of Black Christmas was – actually, weirdly – pretty alright. As far as remakes go it’s not a hot mess, largely thanks to a decent budget ($US9M), slick direction and an impressive cast of lady stars in Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert, Michelle Trachtenberg and Arrow’s Katie Cassidy. It was controversial at the time of release with Christian lobby groups protesting the film’s December 25 opening.
Gremlins (1984)
Family horror movies, man. They just don’t make ‘em like they did in the eighties.
Santa’s Slay (2005)
Santa, Satan’s only son, loses a bet and is cursed to spread Christmas cheer (as opposed to fear) for the rest of all time. Reveling in its own ridiculousness, this is like Bad Santa with a bigger body count. Oh, and Fran Drescher. With Emilie de Ravin and Rebecca Gayheart in supporting roles, if you ever wanted to see a former WWE wrestler play Santa Claus, this is the movie for you.
Treevenge (2009)
The greatest film ever made? Most likely, as there really aren’t enough movies about a legion of Christmas trees becoming self-aware and seeking vengeance. Think the tree ents from Lord Of The Rings except more… actually, no, the tree ents from Lord Of The Rings are exactly the right amount of scary. Technically a short film (it clocks in at just under 17 minutes), this bad boy actually won an award at the prestigious Sundance Film Festival – which is saying something considering it features a scene where trees massacre an entire town. Directed by Jason Eisener who also gave us Hobo With A Shotgun, it hits that sweet spot between modern exploitation revisionism and sheer lunacy. The best bit? You can watch the whole thing on YouTube.
Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972)
Not to be mixed up with that other Christmas slasher Silent Night, Deadly Night which came out a decade later in 1984, this film gets the kudos thanks to an understated, eerie atmosphere. Filmed on a super low budget, it follows a series of murders that take place on Christmas Eve after a man inherits a family estate which was once an insane asylum with a checkered history. I mean really, that never turns out well does it? One of the main reasons to watch is screen legend John Carradine (father of Kill Bill himself, David Carradine). Note: It spawned a generic sequel in 2013 but best to avoid it altogether.
P2 (2007)
This superb thriller could be thrown in there with supernatural ghost film Wind Chill (which stars Emily Blunt) as a genre flick that happens on or around Christmas without being overly tinsel about it. Rachel Nichols stars as a woman stuck in her corporate job on Christmas Eve and ends up playing a deadly game of cat and mouse with the building’s psychopathic security guard after he locks her in the isolated parking garage. Essentially this is just a two person show, with Wes Bentley in fine form doing the gender-bent Annie Wilkes thing. The inventive set-up and increasingly dire situations make P2 a nail-biter in all the right ways.
A Christmas Horror Story (2015)
Yeah, so this is one hundred per cent falling in Krampus’ shadow. William Shatner stars as a radio DJ in a Christmas horror anthology which links three increasingly weird and outlandish tales together: everything from a zombie outbreak at Santa’s workshop to a highschool massacre. As you do.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
“I am the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red… “
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
According to this Finnish film, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he wasn’t, in fact, Santa Claus. Sweeping the international film festival circuit during its release, the story follows reindeer herders who find their work interrupted by an excavation at a sacred burial site near the foot of a mountain. Some ‘thing’ escapes from the grave and soon, reindeer and children in the neighbouring village start to go missing. With a demented sense of humour and all-encompassing use of Christmas lore (Elves! Evil elves!) Rare Exports is ho-ho-horrifyingly good.
The Children (2008)
One of the few films on this list that has almost zero trace of comedy to it, The Children is an underrated British gem that can be thrown into the pantheon of great evil kid movies. With all of the family back home for Christmas, festive plans start to go awry when all of the juveniles come down with a bug. Vomiting and coughing quickly spreads to violent outburst and homicide as the children become infected and start laying waste to anyone who has hit puberty. Super creepy and super gorey, this will have you casting major side-eye at the children in your family as they open gifts on Christmas morning.
Jack Frost (1997)
“One cold night, science and evil collide… “. Not be confused with the Rankin and Bass animated feature of the same name OR the Warner Bros family film where Michael Keaton turns into Jack Frost, this kitsch and sexually perverted movie sees a serial killer reincarnated as a snowman because apparently there is no God. Super weird, it was enough of a hit on the rental circuit that it spawned a sequel three years later - Jack Frost 2: Revenge Of The Mutant Killer Snowman which is equally crap but adds more cold-blooded killers to the mix *boom tish*.
Sint (2010)
This Netherlands feature – look almost every film in the Christmas horror movie subgenre – straddles the line between horror and comedy. Sint is a rather fresh spin on the folklore, depcicting St. Nicholas as a murderous bishop who kidnaps and murders children when there is a full moon on December 5. Bonus points for the director being a guy named Dick Maas (the gent behind such must-sees as Killer Babies and – wait for it – Amsterdamned).
Love, Actually (2003)
Horror in its truest, purest form.
