TRANSCRIPT
Fatima Al-Assaad is a proud mother of two but her journey to parenthood hasn't been easy.
“I've experienced two pregnancy losses. The first was losing my daughter Aya in 2021 and she was born still at 27 weeks and the following year I also experienced a miscarriage in the early stages of pregnancy. Nobody wants to hear those dreaded words that there's no heartbeat and I think nothing can really prepare you for that moment.”
After losing both babies Fatima felt she had little time to process her loss.
“It was more about, what can I do right now to ensure that my baby girl got a decent washing and shrouding and burial. After that is when it kind of really just sinks in. It wasn't until several weeks later where the crush of that pain really incapacitated me.”
Doctor Erin Seeto from Gidget Foundation Australia says this pain is all too common among women who have experienced pregnancy loss.
“It can bring up emotions of sadness and guilt, how they feel about their bodies, trust in their bodies to be able to go on and have future pregnancies.”
But to seek help is to speak out and Fatima says many don't feel they can.
“Pregnancy loss in general is something that is really shrouded in a lot of secrecy and shame.”
This shame can be amplified in migrant and diverse communities according to obstetrician and gynaecologist David Ellwood.
“The history of still birth of course, around the world, is one of stigma and blaming the woman for the fact that the still birth has occurred.”
Fatima's story is just one of thousands with new data from Gidget Foundation Australia revealing that 62 per cent of expectant and new mums have experienced a pregnancy loss.
The data also showed that every day in Australia, six babies are stillborn, two babies pass away during the neonatal period and someone has a miscarriage every five minutes.
Dr Seeto says this can lead to severe mental health impacts.
“Those loss statistics translate to higher vulnerability to then post-natal depression and anxiety. So, it’s really important that we intervene really early. Health professionals, we're situated differently. We understand the research, the theory, we understand the background in terms of the emotional toll that that can take. But we also sit separately from the family and make sure that conversation can be confidential.”
Mr Ellwood has echoed these concerns saying many of his clients have expressed a sense of failure.
“They feel that they've failed at the thing that they were always expecting to do which was to become a parent is something that they've failed at.”
This highlights the importance of personalised bereavement support which Fatima has described as life-saving.
“It’s not just the language that's important in terms of getting accessibility to resources but it’s also ensuring that the community and the healthcare setting does quite understand their experience and ensuring that its quite unique and personalized to what’s important to them and their families.”
