TRANSCRIPT:
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine."
For Patrizia, baby dolls saved her life.
After fleeing a traumatic marriage and leaving her three, human children behind – she says nursing a collection of hyper-realistic baby dolls has begun to heal her trauma and deep longing for motherhood.
"I've been back home now 24 years, and I would say for 16 of them, all I did was cry. One day, desperate, I just went on the internet and just typed in realistic looking dolls. What these babies gave me, they gave a reason to live again and feel like I'm a mum. I have my little babies and no one can take them away from me."
"Reborn dolls" are lifelike art dolls, made to look so realistic you could mistake them for real babies at first glance.
They range in size from premature babies to toddlers and can cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars.
Artist Holly Piper explains the creative process.
"Working with these dolls is no different than working with a canvas or a piece of paper. So we use texture paints, we use special paints that are actually formulated to adhere to the vinyl or silicone that then we do very thin layers to build up a skin tone and depth to create things like veins and capillaries and even dry skin and texture over the dolls."
Dolls of this kind first emerged in the United States in the 1990s, when collectors became interested in the art of ultra-realistic dolls.
But Ms Piper says their usage has evolved overtime.
"Reborn dolls can help people with the grieving process because it gives them something tangible to hold. It's not silly or weird or anything. It's like that's a real coping strategy. And so, if someone has lost a child, being able to hold something that is weighted like them and you can hold them in the same way, it helps them cope with it. It's not that they're not pretending that they have that child, it's their way of remembering them and dealing with that grief because grief doesn't ever go away."
This kind of therapy is deeply healing for people like Patrizia, who not only longs for her own children, but also the grandchildren she's never met.
"This is my first reborn and when I got her, I found out that I was going to be a Nonna (grandmother). I have never seen my granddaughter, so I don't even know what she looks like because I don't. So, I cuddle her and she is my granddaughter. I'm her Nonna (grandmother)."
There's a growing reborn community in Australia, and even a yearly convention dedicated to reborn dolls held in Ipswich, Queensland.
Support groups have also emerged for people using the dolls for therapeutic reasons – just like this one.
"It's a family we chose because my Mum passed away 18 months ago, 12 months ago. And my angels were there with me at the funeral and supporting me and it was huge. Absolutely huge."
"After my second born had passed. I was six months pregnant with her when I had lost her. And I found this realistic reborn workshop and I went in there and did a reborn with my daughter's ashes in it."
"I never had children. I wanted nine when I was 18. Well I got my nine, but they're little fakey babies and it's taken away the yearning that I had."
Carly Dober is a psychologist specialising in trauma who has worked with patients who use reborn dolls as part of their therapy.
She says the dolls can sometimes be helpful for dealing with grief or trauma associated with loss, including the death of a child, stillbirth or miscarriages.
"Humans are programmed to show care and affection and to connect with things that have faces. When there's something that actually looks like a young baby, it looks like a human, it triggers us to want to show warmth and want to connect to that caring part of ourselves and that inherently can be quite calming."
But Dr Dober says reborn dolls aren't right for everyone.
"I think the reliance on a reborn doll can be problematic in some circumstances and would be very careful in the circumstances in which I would recommend them. That's just because the grief cycle might be paused or prolonged more than necessary. So, there is a risk of harm, a risk of being stuck in the grieving process."
She also says people can face additional stress from the judgement of others, due to a lack of understanding around collecting lifelike dolls compared with other hobbies.
"I think sometimes these reborn dolls can be stigmatised because people don't really understand them and they look hyper realistic. And I think there can be a gendered element to that because I don't think people, you know, collecting trains or engaging with stamps is viewed in the same way. So, I think there's a bit of a cultural and societal stigma there."
Knowing the impact reborn dolls have had in her life and healing journey, Patrizia says she doesn't care what other people have to say.
"I want the world to know, I want everyone to understand that we are not crazy old ladies that are walking around with a pram and a doll in it. Because yes, they are dolls and I know they're dolls, but calling them my therapy babies just makes me feel that the nurturing side of me is somehow released."
If you're affected by the issues raised in this story, help is available.
You can contact Lifeline crisis support on 13 11 14 and Red Nose Grief and Loss on 1300 308 307
