It's ANZAC Day and I reckon that song “I was Only 19” will get thrashed on Spotify. It's the song about a soldier who went off to ‘Nam when he was "only 19"? A bit over a year ago, when I was only 19, my step-dad came home from Afghanistan – and he brought the war home with him.
Being the child of a Defence Force veteran, I saw things no kid should see. Actually, no one should see what I saw – like the time I cut a noose off my dad’s neck.
I saved him that time. And I found most of the stanley knives he used to hide around the house. But the eighth time dad tried to take his own life, he did.
"I spent more nights than I like to remember rocking him gently like a parent would their child."
When dad came home, it was a kind of role reversal. I couldn't rely on him as an adult anymore. I couldn't come to him with any problems or speak to him as father and daughter. I spent more nights than I like to remember rocking him gently like a parent would their child.
The simple truth is: when dad came home, he didn’t get the professional help he needed.
That’s not to say there aren’t enough counselling services for veterans. But if my step-dad is anything to go by, then veterans aren’t the kind of guys to sign up for counselling until it’s too late.
I saw a counsellor recommended to me by Defence. I’ve seen a few of them, actually, and they really helped. I’m a big believer in that old saying: a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved. But it can be a bit awkward talking to adults.
"I just want to speak with other young people who are in my situation."
So I’ve turned to friends. I have spent so many sleepless nights scrolling through my phone, asking myself, “Can I call this friend again? Will that be pushing it? What about that friend, are we close enough to talk about this kind of thing?” And on the whole, friends have been great. But if I’m being honest: they don’t get it. How could they?
Lifeline and Beyond Blue are great, too. I can’t count the number of times I’ve called those numbers. They’re right next to my mum in my favourites list.
But it’s the same thing: they don’t get it. I just want to speak with other young people who are in my situation.
That’s why I’ve set up for veterans’ kids. I’m putting the word out now, on Anzac Day, because I want to reach as many veterans’ kids as I can and invite them to join.
If it takes off, I’ll launch a website I’ve got in the works, too.
I haven’t met many others in my situation. But the couple of times we have connected, helping them has helped me, too.
I can’t wait to meet more.
If you are feeling stressed out and would like to talk to someone about it, please get in touch with these organisations:
Lifeline 13 11 14 lifeline.org.au
BeyondBlue 1300 22 463 beyondblue.org.au
