I was kid when I was first called ‘n****’ ‘b***g’ and ‘a**’.
Back in the 60’s we’d bail these kids up after school. Those days this was how things were dealt with and these kids never called me names again coz if they did, the brothers and cousins would sort it out.
By the time my eldest daughter began kindergarten I started to notice the way the other kids looked at her or moved away from my baby because of her skin colour.
I saw what this did to her self-esteem and how it still affects her today. My daughter was around the same tender age as her own daughter when the name calling began.
Back then her father said he’d go to the school and deal with it, coz I was too diplomatic. He stormed straight into the classroom and said: “Who are the kids that have been calling my daughter ‘n*****’ and ‘sl*t’?! Come out now so I can kick you up the backside!”
Florence Onus with her granddaughter. Source: Supplied
As blackfellas, we always manage to laugh through these experiences however, it doesn’t take away the hurt, anger, shame, frustration and pain that cuts through you.
Well every child including our daughter just cringed behind their desks and the teacher totally outraged said: “Sir! you cannot walk into my classroom and threaten children!”
He replied: “No-one calls my daughter filthy names and gets away with it!”
At first my daughter was feeling big shame but that soon changed coz the kids were saying: “Wow is that your Dad? I wish my Dad would stick up for me like that!”
They all thought he was the best thing since sliced bread! Of course; the two culprits were shaking and crying and saying sorry to my daughter and begging her to tell her father they were sorry.
She was never picked on again coz that yarn spread like wildfire around the schoolyard.
Years later, it’s now my granddaughter arriving home in tears and not wanting to go to school because she was being taunted and called the same names. My family and I had just had enough. My daughter asked if I could go and talk to the principal about “it” coz she was gonna go off.
Florence Onus. Source: Supplied
I was pleased to say that the principal showed real leadership and met with the children and their parents to put in disciplinary measures. Unfortunately, he got another posting which left the school without a captain to steer the ship out of these murky waters of racism.
Most Australians say racism doesn’t exist or it is not as bad as we say it is. My response is, if you’ve never been on the receiving end of racism, you have no idea what that feels like and what it does to you and your family. Just when you think attitudes are changing it rears its ugly head again.
The first time my eight-year-old granddaughter came home and told the family about the racist attacks on her we were just cut.
Florence Onus with granddaughter Armani at the 'Black Lives Matter' rally in Townsville 2020. Source: Supplied
My youngest daughter, her Aunty, a public servant, was visiting and she was so angry and upset about what was happening to our girl. When she heard what the kids were calling her, she said to her niece: “You know what, you need to punch these kids in the mouth when they call you racist names!”
Without a blink of an eye, my granddaughter replied: “No Aunty, I can’t do that! It’s against the ‘Code of Conduct’ and I’m not being suspended from school for no-one!”
Well the look on Aunty’s face was like she got slapped.
“F*** the Code of Conduct! I’ll go up to the school and start slinging someone around!”
Well, we all busted up laughing and I said: “Aunty, these are grade four kids, you’ll be arrested and thrown in the paddy wagon if you did that!”
As you get older and wiser you think you’ve grown thick skin however, nothing prepares you for the next round.
Florence Onus with granddaughter Armani, speaking at 'Black Lives Matter' rally in Townsville 2020. Source: Supplied
As blackfellas, we always manage to laugh through these experiences however, it doesn’t take away the hurt, anger, shame, frustration and pain that cuts through you.
Racism is like a cancer that continues to grow and extend its tentacles far and wide.
I continually remind my granddaughter that words have power.
“Never forget who you are and remember that we are the oldest surviving culture and most resilient people in the world. Now that’s something to be proud of and black lives do matter”.
I tell her to look at herself in the mirror and say: “I am black, I am beautiful. I’m a leader. God has a plan for my life and good things are coming my way!”
Florence is a descendant of the Birri-gubba, Kairi and Bidjara clans of north and central Queensland. Florence is a social justice activist and leader whose contribution to local, state and national programs and policy includes covering Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander media, housing, domestic violence, stolen generations, education, reconciliation and healing. In 2019 she joined the Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Women’s Legal Service NQ as the Community Development Worker/Cultural Advisor.
National Reconciliation Week—27 May to 3 June—is a time for all Australians to learn about our shared histories, cultures, and achievements, and to explore how each of us can contribute to achieving reconciliation in Australia. The National Reconciliation Week 2022 theme is “Be Brave. Make Change.” Join the conversation #NRW2022.
