OPINION
You're at work. You're in a room full of men and you're trying to get along, but inwardly stifling the unfairness you experience and all the ways you contort yourself just to survive in an environment that is not designed for you.
But imagine speaking up? Imagine saying what you actually feel? Heart is racing. Sweaty palms. The chance of losing it all, of being deemed difficult, of not playing along.
Stand up Jessica Walter.
The actress was ready with a tight smile to play along and promote her new show with an interview in along with the cast of Arrested Development ahead of the fifth season.
But the facade cracked when Walter shared her experience of being yelled at by co-star Jeffrey Tambor, from the show Transparent after sexual harassment allegations.
Jeffrey Tambor, Jason Bateman, Tony Hale, David Cross (Front Row L-R) Will Arnett, Alia Shawkat and Jessica Walter. Source: Getty Images
“I have to let go of being angry at him,” Walter said in the interview. In “almost 60 years of working, I’ve never had anybody yell at me like that on a set and it’s hard to deal with, but I’m over it now.”
Walter shared the admission in front of Tambor after being questioned by the reporter on the issue.
The heartbreaking confession comes as Walter, in the same breath, disregards her own experience as her male cast members including Tony Hale, Will Arnett, Jason Bateman and David Cross, work overtime to play down the admissions and protect Tambor.
"Let me just say one thing that I just realised in this conversation," Walter says.
"I have to let go of being angry at him. He never crossed the line on our show, with any, you know, sexual whatever. Verbally, yes, he harassed me, but he did apologise. I have to let it go. [Turns to Tambor.] And I have to give you a chance to, you know, for us to be friends again."
Bateman goes on to defend Tambor, saying his behaviour is typical in the industry: "Not to belittle it or excuse it or anything, but in the entertainment industry it is incredibly common to have people who are, in quotes, 'difficult,'” he says.
Fellow female cast member Alia Shawkat bravely chimed in to support Walter, but was the lone figure to do so. Interrupting Bateman she said: “But that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. And the point is that things are changing and people need to respect each other differently."
Twitter lit up like a Greek chorus expressing incredulity at the scene. The verdict: Not Cool.
You feel achingly protective of Walter, bewildered by her own feelings, desperate to be true to herself and weighing up the cost of risking everything by confronting the people in the room who are her colleagues. As an older woman, in an industry notorious for consuming young, beautiful women, you feel her hesitation and her panic at overriding her internal self-preservation warning systems, to stand up for herself.
Women are often told to have a thick skin, be strong and stand up against power - but there is little analysis of the challenges they face when they do and at what personal risk. How hard is it to speak up in a room so ready to negate your experience, to demean you and so willing to replace you? How hard is it to express grievances, when you have little power?
The actress, who plays Lucille Bluth in the show, shakily expresses gratitude for having a role on the show, no doubt worried if her disclosure will affect her ability to find work.
Women are often told to have a thick skin, be strong and stand up for themselves against power - but there is little analysis of the challenges they face when they do and at what personal risk.
"Writers weren’t writing juicy Lucille Bluth roles. It was very hard for a woman of a certain age, which was 62, to get a wonderful role like this. And it really put me back sort of on the shorter list. It really, for a lot of us, upped our careers," she says.
"It has so much meaning for me. I’ll play this until I die, with my wheelchair and my cane, if they ask me."
The fact that Shawkat and Walter are willing to disrupt the happy family facade and speak their truths says so much of the reckoning that is happening in the fields of art, entertainment and media where more women have been inspired to speak about their experiences of exclusion and harassment in light of the #TimesUp and #metoo campaign.
Industries which for so long have remained unregulated by law and have protected 'male genius' and power at the expense of women, especially women of colour.
The fact that these questions are now being asked of people in interviews shows the climate is changing in favour of disclosure. We need to keep making safe environments for people to tell their truths. It also indicative of the fact that we need to counter the dude fest that is shows like Arrested Development and have more women, and women of colour in power as directors, creators and agents in entertainment.
It's only when we keep talking, keep sharing, keep making things uncomfortable the needle shifts.
Bravo Jessica Walter.
