I’m not a subtle social media user, and over the past few months there have been changes to the kind of content I post. Slowly, the words “my boyfriend” have begun to appear… well, everywhere.
Yes, once perennially single, now I’m in my first long-term relationship, and I’ll tell anyone who’ll listen about my kind, intelligent, handsome, dorky new boyfriend.
And, sure, there are lots of things about being in a relationship that are great: large amounts of take-away food is always less embarrassing when shared, and family events feel far less intimidating when you have a more acceptable answer to the age-old relatives’ query: “How’s your love life?”
But I was single for the first 27 years of my life, and I adored my single-girl adventures. And, yes, my boyfriend is a fantastic human – but, still, there are plenty of things I miss about being single.
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1. Ordering hamburgers without giving it a second thought
My boyfriend is a vegetarian. And, look, there’s nothing wrong with that. Truly. It’s great! He’s a very responsible, ethical and sustainable person.
But here’s the thing: I’m not a vegetarian. And while I often eat vegetarian fare now, especially when we’re together, I miss the days of being a meat-eater who never thought about the fact that she is a meat-eater. Now, whenever I order a burger, or choose a prosciutto pizza instead of a mushroom one, I think about how I maybe should’ve chosen the latter as opposed to the former.
Is that selfish? Maybe. Nevertheless, I do miss my pre-boyfriend, unconscious meat-eating life. And now I really want a burger…
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2. First Dates (And First Kisses…)
My boyfriend and I met on Tinder, and before we got together, I must admit I was a bit of an online dating fiend.
I like to get dressed up and meet someone new in a comfortable bar, with a glass of rose in front of me to nervously twist between my fingers while we quiz each other on awkward background details. Where did you grow up? What do you do for a living? Oh, and please don’t be a murderer.
First dates – especially the ones that go well – are amazing fun. And the ones that don’t go well? Well, they make an excellent story for your next coffee with mates (or your next online lifestyle column).
And the really good first dates come with really, really good first-date kisses. With your boyfriend, you get all kinds of kisses. Quick kisses, passive-aggressive kisses, passionate kisses, and so on. But first kisses… well, you only get them once, don’t you?
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3. Totally Non-Innocent Flirting
I’m not here to tell you that you can’t have an innocent flirt with the barista at your local coffee shop when you’re in a relationship. Live your life! Innocent flirt away! We all do it.
No, what I’m talking about is Totally Non-Innocent Flirting. Like, really sexy flirting. Unless you and your partner have some kind of arrangement, you’re not going to be doing too much of that flirting in a relationship.
Sexy flirting is fun; it makes you feel good. Being single and having a good old sexy flirt is a privilege. And yes, I miss it!
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4. Never Having To Compromise
As a perennially single (and very bossy) person, I got used to getting my own way all the time.
When you’re in a relationship, you’ve got to compromise on a lot. And I have to say, it’s not nearly as trying as I always imagined it would be. When it’s for someone you care about, suddenly wanting to watch episodes of The Property Brothers seems less important. You know he would probably watch it, but he kind of hates The Property Brothers. So, you compromise.
But, hell, do I miss that time when I was single and making all my decisions with only me in mind? Do I miss full-day Property Brothers marathons? You betcha.
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5. When My Cat Loved Me Best
When I met my cat Macbeth, I felt like we bonded pretty instantaneously. When it was just me and her, I carried her around the house and held her in my lap as I sat on the couch. Everywhere I walked I felt Macbeth at my feet.
Then she met my boyfriend, and I’ve never seen an animal just fall for a human like that. She marched right up to him, circled round him, and that was it. He was her favourite. And that’s tough.
And look, I know Macbeth loves me, but when we’re sitting on the couch at night, and we both call to her, do you want to guess whose lap she’ll jump into first? Yep, that’s right.
I think we’re fed this myth that life will be so much better, so much easier, when we find our “person” and start a relationship. And in many ways, it is.
But relationships – no matter how great they are, or how wonderful the partner – come with their own challenges and compromises.
Single life, as much as its derided in popular culture as being depressing and dull, is actually so fun and free and fantastic. So, seriously, take advantage of it as much as possible.
Watch the ultimate search for love with 'If You Are The One' on SBS On Demand:
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