When my wife and I began the process of starting a family we had high hopes as test results showed we were very good candidates for IVF success. But when we found out that we had conceived naturally and we didn’t have to go through the IVF nightmare we were ecstatic.
Unfortunately we ended up losing our son due to a rare chromosomal disorder when my wife was 33 weeks pregnant. We still wanted children and with IVF being able to screen for any chromosome disorders early we were hopeful.
But after hearing terms like hatching and the complex procedure regarding the amount of drugs my wife had to take my head starting spinning.
At the start of the process everything looked good, however the first cycle was cancelled just before egg collection. The second attempt didn’t take either. Our IVF doctor was stumped. Why was my wife not responding to the IVF stimulation as thought and not producing eggs?
We found out the answer when we did a new set of blood tests and discovered the first results were a mistake. My wife in actual fact had low ovarian reserves.
Finding out these test results was hard to take but learning this information on our one year wedding anniversary was life being especially cruel
Our distress and shock at that bad news was compounded even further when our doctor recommended that our third IVF attempt be our last and that if that failed we should consider donor eggs.
Finding out these test results was hard to take but learning this information on our one year wedding anniversary was life being especially cruel (as if we hadn’t been through enough already). I was ready to give up on IVF and go back to trying to conceive naturally which worked for us the first time.
To get our heads around things we decided to take a break from visits to IVF clinics and go to New Zealand hoping to let nature heal us. Our first stop was the natural beauty of Doubtful and Milford Sounds. But alas the first few days were wet and miserable with clouds blocking most of the spectacular scenery of the Fiordland area.
The country’s tourism logo may be, ‘New Zealand 100% Pure’ but to me it was more like ‘New Zealand 80 % cloud obstruction’. Looking back, I realise that I was letting the grief and disappointment of the last 12 months ‘cloud’ my ability to take in New Zealand’s stunning and spectacular natural beauty.
Our first stop was the natural beauty of Doubtful and Milford Sounds Source: Con Stamocostas
When we got to Dunedin I hoped a wildlife tour to an albatross colony might take my mind to a calmer place. As soon as I stepped out of the bus and saw the stunning albatross flying above it felt like the healing had begun.
Seeing these majestic creatures for the first time glide so eloquently I felt a deep surge of emotion, excitement and wonder. My grief had found some solace through the action of these birds. At times there were two or three in the sky at once. It was as if they were showing off spreading their wings above and smiling at me through those massive beaks.
I bombarded our albatross guide with questions. I was enthralled by their three metre wingspan and ability to reach speeds of around 120kph. I was fascinated that these birds spent over 80 per cent of their lives out at sea and only go to land for breeding. But one thing that struck me was how these creatures have their own version of raising chicks via donor eggs.
The story of the Albatross raising a child from another donor egg meant that if the process failed we had options. Source: Con Stamocostas
Environmental factors such as extreme temperatures means that some albatross partners don’t return back to the nest due to a lack of food which leads to eggs being abandoned by their parents.
But thanks to the action of the Rangers at the colony, abandoned eggs are given a chance to survive thanks to egg swapping where the egg is transferred to other albatross parents who raise the chick. As well as male-female pairs, female-female pairs who may not have fertile eggs are often given a dummy egg that keeps the albatross parents on the nest all the way up to hatching time.
If the albatross can raise chicks from donor eggs perhaps I could as well.
In some weird way I cannot understand, the albatross became my spirit animal. I not only found the process fascinating, but hearing how the Rangers use dummy eggs to ensure the abandoned egg survives spoke to me.
It gave me some strength to have another got at IVF. I headed into our final attempt with less stress and anxiety and I was hopeful of conceiving our own child. Yes I was still fearful that our third and final attempt may not work, but the story of the albatross raising a child from another donor egg meant that if the process failed we had options. If the albatross can raise chicks from donor eggs perhaps I could as well.
The healing power of New Zealand and the albatross got me in the end and gave me the strength to continue with-our third IVF attempt when we got back to Australia. While the final outcome is not known as yet, my wife and I hope this story will be continued.
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