I first came across the term “third culture kids” (TCK) in 2008, when Barack Obama was running for election to become the first ever Black American president of the United States.
Obama, who is for a speaking tour, was born in Honolulu, Hawaii. He spent six years there before moving to Indonesia with his mother, who had recently remarried. He returned to Hawaii when he was 10 to continue his education.
Much like the former US president, I too lived in different countries growing up. I was born in Pakistan, then moved to the Gulf nation of Bahrain, and then my family moved again, making our home in Sydney.
Obama and I are “third culture kids” (TCK), a term coined by American sociologist Ruth Useem in the 1950s, to mainly describe the children of expatriates who spent a significant time during their childhood living in a culture other than their country of nationality or their parents’ country of nationality.
Obama has never been one to shy away from speaking about his identity. In his memoir, Dreams from My Father, Obama wrote about his childhood spent in Indonesia and Hawaii, and how these experiences shaped his sense of identity and perspective on the world. “My identity might begin with the fact of my race, but it didn’t, couldn’t, end there. At least that’s what I would choose to believe,” he wrote. In his now during his first presidential campaign, then Senator Obama spoke passionately about his race and identity: “I am the son of a Black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton’s Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I’ve gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world’s poorest nations.”
He went on to say, “At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either ‘too Black’ or ‘not Black enough’.”
This feeling of not belonging – as if you’re neither here nor there – is commonly felt by many TCK
This feeling of not belonging – as if you’re neither here nor there – is commonly felt by many TCK.
In about TCK, Noor Brara wrote: “If asked, any third-culture kid will tell you that shape-shifting — rousing one of the many selves stacked within you to best suit the place you’re in — becomes a necessary survival skill, a sort of feigned fitting in that allows you to relate something of yourself to nearly everyone you meet.”
It’s something I have felt personally, as if my identity was scattered across continents, especially when I was growing up. It’s also something I’ve tried to tap into in my own writing.
In the novel I wrote, , the protagonist Kal discovers he is a TCK. Kal reads in a book: “TCK were adaptable, did well in social situations, made friends easily. They were not of one place but of many. But despite the positives, TCK often felt alone, not knowing where exactly to call home or which culture to identify with.” As soon as he does, everything clicks into place and he realises just having a label to his identity helps him navigate the world better.
And while it can be confusing, at least initially, to figure out your identity, found that, “Contrary to previous knowledge, this review found that TCKs are not confused by the multiplicity of their identity.”
Obama’s own complex identity helped him, at least a little bit, to become relatable to vast swathes of people – not just in America, but around the world. It’s why so many of us turn up to listen to him speak to this day.
Obama once said: “.... what I benefited from is a multiplicity of cultures that all fed me”
“I was raised as an Indonesian child and a Hawaiian child and as a Black child and as a white child,” . “And so what I benefited from is a multiplicity of cultures that all fed me.”
This feeling of being fed by multiple cultures rather than being alienated by them can be a source of comfort to TCK, especially when we feel we don’t belong.
In my case, I was confused about who I was and where I belonged as I was growing up – a feeling that spilled into my 20s. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realise that identities are complex. They are shaped not only by where we grew up or the places we lived, but by so many other factors too. In many ways, I’ve made peace with the fact that my identity doesn’t neatly fit in a box. My multifaceted identity has helped shape me into the person I am today.
is an author and freelance writer. Her debut novel, , is out now through Penguin Australia.
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