Falling in love is an extraordinarily lucky thing for any human being to experience.
In the modern multicultural landscape of Australia, the experience of falling in love often comes with a big demand: the ability to skilfully and patiently mediate several cultural and religious identities, and bring them together.
For the couples featured on the new SBS series Marry Me, Marry My Family, falling in love meant uniting several often-clashing cultures: their own identities, their family's cultural identities, AND their partner's (and their family's) cultural identities.
A cinch for some, mindboggingly difficult for others - but these couples have made their love work, and their cultural identities work together.
Uma and Carl
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"Our wedding was a week long celebration in Mahabalipuram, India and involved 70 people from around the world immersing themselves in Indian culture. It was, quite simply, the best week of my life.
"My husband was nothing short of amazing. Sitting by a fire in the heat, having his face covered in a blind fold, repeating all the chants and prayers and most importantly putting up with all the pressure from my family to propose to me, as I was 36 and on the shelf.
"We now have a baby girl. Her name is Jaya. A beautiful result of a cross-cultural relationship. We know her life will be richer for it." - Uma
Jackie and Alekz
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"Within a year I took Alekz to Suva and he was introduced to a mix of Fijian customs like preparing the lovo (traditional ceremony of meats, fish and vegetables cooked in the earth), nightclubbing in Suva (a necessary cultural experience), and being introduced to my extended family.
"Alekz was very proud to take me back to his home town and country. He introduced me to his many friends, family, battered fish and chips and countryside walks.
"We are both are incredibly proud of where we come from and have learned so much from each another and are proud to call Australia home, with Alekz pledging his allegiance to our sun and sea last year. An intercultural marriage awaits these mixed kids with their families coming together in what is likely to be a destination wedding." - Jackie
Andrew and Tatiana
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"I met my future wife Tatiana whilst travelling through France. We clicked instantly, however, straight away there was a snag – she couldn’t speak a word of English and I couldn’t speak a word of French! What saved us was that Tatiana is a Belgian with Russian background and I am an Australian with Russian background. So there we were, in the middle of France, speaking in Russian to each other. As a child, I always complained as to why it was necessary for me to learn Russian, whereas, today I am so grateful to my parents for teaching me the language.
"The next eight years were spent living in Ireland, England, back to Australia for a short stint, then Belgium where we finally got married. I think the two of us have accumulated more frequent flyer miles than anyone else over these years!
"My wife is the most loving, caring and patient person I’ve ever met – she learned English for me, moved from country to country with me, migrated to Australia for me and stayed with me despite me taking seven long years to finally propose. She loves a barbie on the beach, sings along to Powderfinger songs and even attends AFL games now and then, although she hasn’t quite got used to Australian insects yet!
"Thanks to my wife, I have learned to appreciate Belgian beers and sweets, I have learned a bit of French and most importantly I have a whole new family on the other side of the world!
"Our wedding day is still the most memorable and happiest day of my life. We were married in Belgium, surrounded by friends and family from all over the world. It felt like a United Nations conference at times with speeches in French, Russian and English.
"I had never imagined I would be married in an old Belgian castle surrounded by a moat and forest, nor did I think I would be serenaded by a gypsy band, or that the wedding would go all night and into the morning – pausing only for traditional onion soup and sandwiches at midnight. But that’s how it happened, I could not have wished for it to have been any other way.
"I’m so grateful to have met someone from a different culture and background and despite the challenges, such a relationship can pose, (the frequent flyer miles are still accumulating), it’s so enriching and rewarding to be part of such a special relationship." - Andrew
Greer and Pablo
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"When we got married we talked about how to integrate his Chilean traditions into our reception, but it was quite difficult with our venue and the space we had. The best we could come up with at the time was to offer shots of pisco, as well as the traditional champagne for the wedding speeches and toasts.
"Imagine my surprise then, when a few dances into the party, a white serviette was thrust into my hand by one of his relatives and I was dragged to the dance floor so we could dance the Cueca, Chile’s national dance. The tradition of the Cueca is that it is a re-enactment of the courting ritual between a Rooster and a Hen.
"Fortunately, I’d seen what I’d affectionately dubbed “the hankee dance” performed on Chilean national holidays so it wasn’t a complete surprise, but it gave everyone else a lot of laughs as I was fought over by the Chilean males before my husband came swooping in to win my hand." - Greer
Nancy and Ashu
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"A few years ago, we were both working in the United States. We met at the function hall of an Armenian church in downtown Los Angeles. I love Ashu’s kind and patient nature.
"The proposal was a gorgeous surprise during a short getaway trip to Bavaria (Germany). Ashu proposed on Queen Mary's Bridge (Marienbrucke) which has the perfect view of the Neuschwanstein Castle (Disney Castle). It was a dreamy moment and the perfect location.
"Getting my family to accept our relationship was a long, difficult battle purely on cultural and religious grounds. Ashu's family was very understanding and accepting of our relationship, which was a breath of fresh air, as it would've been really tough to deal with resistance from both sides.
"There is a misconception that individuals may need to sacrifice their culture or beliefs when entering multicultural relationships. Our experience has shown that we've actually had everything to gain and nothing to lose. We get so excited about sharing our unique cultures and beliefs with one another." - Nancy
Louise and Lalith
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"Early one morning, both Lalith and I were still in bed when my dad came knocking on my door telling me that I had received a bouquet of flowers. I thought it was extremely strange and didn’t know who would give me flowers. The flowers came with a note that said “look behind you” and I started to freak out. As I turned around, I saw Lalith on one knee with a ring in his hand and that’s when I cried.
"In the lead up to the wedding, the biggest challenge was knowing that Lalith would have to battle with his parents to marry me. We got into a lot of arguments about his parents, as they didn’t initially understand and wanted Lalith to find someone within their own community. Through Lalith’s constant reassurance and love for me, I was able to worry less about getting married to him.
"I want people to know that regardless of culture, race and conflicting expectations, couples can still unite and we hope our story serves as a strong example." - Louise
Jessa and Areti
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"I love Areti in so many ways. He is hands down the strongest, most loyal and loving person I have met on this Earth.
"We met at the Australian National University (Canberra) as PhD candidates. Aside from both being doctoral students, we were involved in student politics.
"Areti took me to Fitzroy Island for Valentines Day. Because he knows how sneaky I am, he bought a pair of earrings as a faux Valentines gift to trick me. He then gave me a second box, which had the most beautiful ring in it. It took me a few seconds to realise what was happening, and I immediately burst into tears.
"It's still a journey for our families to learn more about each other's different Indigenous cultures. I hope this will help people learn about the beauty of whanau. It's a family love that can't really be put into words." - Jessa
You can see Marry Me, Marry My Family on Tuesday nights at 8:40pm on SBS, and SBS On Demand.
