I’ve always found it difficult to make friends. My family has a background of mental illness, and I suffer from depression and anxiety.
My father died when I was just a baby. It was not until I was 15 I found out he had suicided. This news really shook me. I’d been told he had died after falling off the roof. It hurt that the rest of my family had kept the truth from me for so long.
I was in my early 20’s working in a corporate role for a well-known organisation when I began to steal money meant for people in need of support. Over time it became a substantial sum, totalling over $300,000.
I think I did it because I was hiding from what was really going on inside my head. I was masking my insecurities, anxiety and depression, by taking money that wasn’t mine. I enjoyed the popularity that came with having money, and the thrill of being able to make big purchases.
I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I had convinced myself I needed an escape.
I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I had convinced myself I needed an escape.
Eventually they realised something was amiss and started an investigation where I was found out- they had seen footage of me on a security camera, caught red-handed. My mum said to me, “I may love you, but I don’t like you very much right now”.
When I was sentenced and realised I had to go to prison I was terrified, humiliated and felt very alone.
Being from a small town, it wasn’t long until everyone was talking.
After serving my two-and-half-year sentence, it has been difficult to get back on track. I was scared to leave the house in case somebody recognised me.
Trust has been very hard to regain - once it’s lost it is difficult to get back.
Last year I was directed to complete a number of programs through my community corrections order.
One these was the which is focused on helping young ex-offenders develop skills, training and find a job when they get out of prison.
Trust has been very hard to regain - once it’s lost it is difficult to get back.
I thought it was going to be just another program I had to complete, to tick off the list, so I didn’t think much of it to begin with. Attending the first day was scary, I was also worried about the other people I might encounter there, despite being an offender myself I still saw others who had come through the prison system as the ‘other.’
I felt I was different to them because I had a good background, good education and family support. But I was surprised by the program and how it brought people together, especially for people who are at more of a disadvantage. The staff were welcoming and non-judgemental, and the rest of the women were really supportive.
The case manager from the YMCA went through career planning with me, and I was supported to link in with volunteering, which led to a paid position. We also spoke about my future goals and steps to make the goals achievable.
My self esteem and self confidence have improved. I now have more of a social awareness of what others face and I’m thinking about studying social work.
I have learned to appreciate what I have “you don’t know what you’ve got until it is gone”. I am more honest about my feelings, about what I am doing. I have changed as a person, but for the better. I am more open, can stand up for myself better, I am able to say “no”.
I have learned to appreciate what I have “you don’t know what you’ve got until it is gone”. I am more honest about my feelings, about what I am doing. I have changed as a person, but for the better. I am more open, can stand up for myself better, I am able to say “no”.
It has shown me who my true friends are, during my offending I kept them at arm’s length as I knew they wouldn’t like what I was doing.
I spent 18 months living in fear of seeing people, I became reclusive and hid away. I come from a small community so was really concerned about bumping into anyone so I wouldn’t hardly go anywhere.
Now I am not scared anymore, I have changed and made positive steps to become a better person. I have been in a healthy relationship for over a year, and become independent of my parents as I am able to support myself. It feels good to leave the past behind me.
There are huge hurdles and barriers for people with criminal backgrounds to get ahead. There are certain jobs it would be very difficult for me to get due to my offending.
Most employers do a criminal background check these days. I have secured employment, and I was honest about my background, but I worked really hard to get where I am.
Another barrier is the ability to apply for rental properties, most places will also do a background check. So if you are unemployed and have no place to live it is pretty serious.
The financial aspect also is huge, I had to go bankrupt because of my offending which limits my ability to get loans, credit cards, hire purchases etc.
I spent 18 months living in fear of seeing people, I became reclusive and hid away. I come from a small community so was really concerned about bumping into anyone so I wouldn’t hardly go anywhere.
If I hadn’t done the Bridge project program, perhaps I would’ve reoffended. The rate for reoffenders is about 50 per cent but for those who go through the program the reoffending rate drops to less than 3 per cent. To stop the cycle of crime the solution is about much more than just locking us up and throwing away the key.
My advice for people in the community is it that is really important for people to keep an open mind, to take a chance. Ask a lot of questions, don’t taint everyone with the same brush-everyone has a different story.
Emily* (not her real name) attended the Community Education Program in March 2016. The program is delivered throughout Victoria with young offenders in the community. The program focuses on basic life skills and career support and planning.
