What surprised me the most about Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s recent statement about his battles with depression wasn’t what his admission, or even what he didn’t say. It was what he had already showed the world.
Johnson about his battles with depression following the attempted suicide of his mother.
Johnson was 15 when he watched his mum, Ata, walk into Nashville traffic after they were evicted from their apartment.
“I reached a point where I didn’t want to do a thing or go anywhere,” the star said. “I was crying constantly.”
He said he pulled her from the highway but then sunk into several years of depression made more difficult by injuries that halted his would-be football career and a break-up with a girlfriend.
Dwayne Johnson is known for being as close to a real-life action hero as there can ever be. He lived (to the naked eye) a perfect “Alpha Male” life, with a perfect body and at his prime as an actor and entertainer. In other words, he arguably did everything as man should do “right” when faced with depression: get fit, be strong, and have a “positive outlook”.
But as Johnson, and as most people who suffer from mental illness know, simply wishing for things to get better through certain external changes is a half-measure, at best.
This is especially true when faced with external factors you can’t control. You might be able to fit in a morning run or weights routine, but that doesn’t stop the inevitable unpredictability of life.
In Johnson’s case, it was the duel external factors of a football-career-ending injury and watching his mother’s own attempted suicide that drove him to the edge. In my own case, depressive episodes have occurred during some of the more strenuous moments of my life: my parents’ divorce, the HSC, and when I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease all come to mind.
Most men are told to bottle it up and shut up.
Although I’ve never really been the most “Alpha Male” type of guy (I’m still on my L’s at 27 and I find NRL confusing), a lot of what’s taught as typically “male behaviour” was ingrained into me from a young age, by everyone from Batman to my own dad. The answers that are often provided by those typical male role models are that strength comes from physical feats and external acceptance, and that internal emotions that display fragility are to be kept inside yourself. Nothing that shows weakness, especially weakness of character, must be revealed. In short, most men are told to bottle it up and shut up.
It’s also a far greater problem than many acknowledge – statistically more men will take their life this year in Australia than women, at a rate of three to one. There’s a communal silence around how men are suffering, and ultimately dying, under a system that’s failing them as much as it’s failing women and gender diverse people.
Worse yet, the few voices that are speaking up for men are often bad faith actors, actively pitting men who are may be searching for help against fighting their own demons, against women, minorities, or basically any progressive movement. The Men’s Rights Activist movement, who claim to fight for men but really fight against everyone else, come to mind.
Johnson closed his messages with a plea to all men to speak up and open up to others about their own battles with mental illness. And unlike merely pointing someone to a squat rack, on leaving them to seek solace in the darker corners of the internet, this is a real, tangible step towards positive change.
We can’t keep teaching men and boys to hide their emotions. Their lives, and the lives of so many others, depend on it.
Conversations matter, especially conversations about mental health. And from personal experience, my life has only gotten better once I talked honestly and candidly to friends, family, and workmates, about my own depression.
None of this goes against the health benefits of good exercise and eating habits, or having a “positive outlook”. But rather, that we, as a society, must look beyond the traditional gender roles associated with masculinity. We must encourage men to be open to discussing their feelings and emotions with people they can trust. We can’t keep teaching men and boys to hide their emotions. Their lives, and the lives of so many others, depend on it.
Albert Santos is a writer. You can follow him on Twitter
Mental health services:
- Men's Referral Service 1300 766 491
- Lifeline (24 hour crisis line) 131 114
- Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
