Trying to become an actor? Challenging. Trying to work as a professional artist when you’ve just found out you’re neurodivergent? And making a documentary about it at the same time? Pretty scary, you’d think, but that’s exactly what 20-year-old Breanna Deleo did. And the result is Whatever Scares You, an engaging coming-of-age documentary that follows Deleo, along with her parents, mentors, fellow actors and the documentary-making team, too.
As the documentary unfolds, Deleo (previously seen in TV series First Responders) is exploring both what it means to be an actor, and how the wider world relates to difference and disability. She is both the central figure in the documentary and its co-creator – so this is, as well as her own story, a documentary about making a documentary.
“I’m proud to be me,” she says, early in the film as she talks about finding out that she’s neurodivergent. “…It shocked me a little bit, but I’m going to get used to it. I hope people don’t judge me for it.”
In the film, Breanna shares her artistic and home life. Source: SBS
“She’s trying to be more independent. I’m trying to deal with that without worrying about everything,” says her mother, Joanne, in the documentary. “I’m scared about the world outside and how they’re going to react to her, and people taking advantage of her.”
There’s certainly plenty of support coming Breanna’s way from her family and from the folk at Back to Back Theatre, where she’s part of the ensemble of actors. Based in Geelong, Victoria, Back to Back is a well-regarded contemporary performance group, that centres the voices of creators-artists perceived to have disability.
Breanna with her parents, Joe and Jo. Source: SBS
And throughout the film we see Deleo mentored by other artists: she meets Nat Bartsch, a composer who is also neurodivergent, and they begin to experiment with music for the documentary; Lauren Watson, an adaptive aerialist who coaches her in new physical skills; and, travelling to the Gold Coast, a group of artists making a film (a trip that brings its own challenges as she is confronted with unfamiliarity and an overload of experiences).
But her approach to this reflects her approach to life. When asked, in the film, how she’s feeling about travelling to Queensland, and what scares her the most about it, her answer is “Nothing. Nothing scares me at all. I’m excited to meet those people and make connections with people’s work, [their] commitment to what their aspirations are in life.” And if there are other things that might scare her – well, she takes those on, too, as the film shows.
Whatever Scares You is part of SBS’s Curious Australia innovative documentary series, screening on SBS VICELAND, NITV and SBS On Demand, featuring a wide range of stories from across Australia.
“Both Breanna and I are novice filmmakers,” says the film’s director, and Back to Back artistic associate, Tamara Searle, explaining the making of the documentary. “At Back to Back… the development of our artists is by way of doing, experiencing and reflecting. This documentary tracks a process of artistic agency for Breanna…
“We set our course by searching for collaborators with disability, and by following what Breanna was interested in doing. Sometimes this was meeting people and talking to them: anyone who meets Breanna notices immediately how socially vibrant she is. Breanna showed up in front of the camera, bravely, over and over, to create a story. There are moments where Breanna extends herself, reaching beyond her 20 years, beyond her limits, and takes us with her. These are the moments where she is discovering that she needn’t be like any other person, and trusts that her presence and determination are more than enough to be incredibly watchable.
“Locating Breanna as the co-author of the film was not always straightforward: Breanna is in the process of discovering her preferences and aesthetics. She was not always interested in the conceptual development or investigations that the team was interested in, and so the story of the documentary also follows the choices of an artist on how they will practice.
“This is a big story, embodied and told by a person who although inexperienced, is willing to let us witness that. There is a rawness in Breanna which people identity with. They recognise in her their own struggles to self-actualise and live a life that is meaningful. Through her grit and bravery, Breanna is directing us to notice the multiplicity of work practices of artists and humans, always there, but frequently dominated by white, male, and able voices.”
Says producer Alice Fleming, “This film is evidence of the incredible generosity and strength of Breanna, who bravely let us into a moment of huge transition, and let us see her own vulnerability as she works out where she belongs in the world. This intimacy onscreen speaks to the collaborative relationship that Tamara and Breanna have cultivated over the past few years, and the deep level of trust and friendship of her and her family with the film team.
“It feels like initiatives such as Curious Australia really open up space for new voices, participation and stories, and it’s an exciting time to be sharing Whatever Scares You with an audience who will hopefully see a part of themselves in it.”
Breanna herself says she hopes people seeing the film will learn about difference, that she wanted to “show people that it can be difficult, but we all have different ways of working”.
Whatever Scares You screens 8.30 pm Thursday 25 August on SBS VICELAND and is also streaming now at SBS On Demand.
