*At the request of the interviewee, her real name has been withheld for her own protection.
Laura, 28 years old and a resident of Sydney, began a relationship with an Australian man shortly after arriving in Australia in 2018. After knowing each other for a few weeks, he asked her out, and after three months he took her to live with his parents. Since she was on a student visa, he proposed a partner visa and, since she could not afford the costs, it was his parents who paid for the entire process - at the time, something around 10 thousand dollars.
At the beginning of their relationship, Laura says that her partner “complimented her all the time, was cheerful, polite and friendly”. According to her, “he treated my friends well and was very affectionate with me. It all seemed like a dream!” But that changed when they moved together to a house far from the city centre, in a more remote suburb of Sydney, away from the eyes of family and friends.
From being a romantic and affectionate partner, he started criticizing me for everything I did, including the way I behaved.
Laura says that he never hit her, but the abuse became more intense every day.
Before I knew it, I was using all my salary to pay the household bills. We started having a lot of fights, and sometimes he would put me out of the house and I had nowhere to go. One time, I had to call a friend and ask to sleep over at her house.
Domestic violence is not always characterized only by physical aggression. Abuse can be:
- Financial or patrimonial: when the partner restricts and controls material assets, such as money and bank accounts, with the intention of causing financial dependence.
- Emotional and psychological: when there are verbal abuses, threats and excessive criticism, such as making the person feel inferior or powerless in everyday situations. This also involves preventing them from seeing family or friends and even restricting their right to come and go.
- Technological: when there is control of social networks, or prevention of using one's own phone, or even the use of online devices, such as GPS, to track the partner's location.
- Sexual or marital rape: when relations are forced and without the other person's full consent. This involves coercing the person to do something they do not want or are not willing to do in relation to the sexual act.
- Moral: when there are lies, intimidation, distortions of reality, excessive jealousy, and criticism of the way of being, dressing and behaving.
Em 2021, uma em cada três mulheres migrantes na Austrália haviam sofrido violência doméstica. Source: Getty
Financial, emotional and legal support and advice for victims of domestic and family violence is available through on 1800 737 732 or on 13 11 14.
*Online version: Jason M.
