My name is Shaun Resnik. I’m 44 and currently expecting my first child through a local surrogacy journey in Australia.
Ever since I was a teenager, I aspired to be a dad one day.
Some of my fondest memories as a child growing up in South Africa were the walks, bike rides and runs I’d go on with my dad and our family dog. We’d laugh, share stories and he’d teach me about the world. He’s a kindhearted and humorous man and I cherished these moments with him.
Ten years ago we almost lost my Dad to a sudden and massive heart attack. Watching him being resuscitated by paramedics was a sight I’ll never forget. Following 25 gruelling minutes of CPR, resulting in five broken ribs, he was placed in an induced coma for a few days. Miraculously he pulled through. Almost losing my father was a reminder of the significant role he plays in my life.
Shaun with his parents, brother and grandmothers.
Fast forward to September last year, a blood test revealed that Carla, my surrogate, was carrying my boy. It was finally going to be my turn to love and nurture a son of my own. I knew then that I was going to name him Eli, my Dad’s middle name. The perfect way to honour him.
Parenthood doesn’t come easily for a lot of people, let alone a single gay man. By the time I was in my late 30’s I found myself suddenly single. I’d enjoyed a few significant relationships over the years but my previous partners didn’t share the same dream of fatherhood. It’s hard to find a gay man who also wants to be a dad. I knew that if I left it for too long, fatherhood might not happen for me, so I decided to forgo meeting “Mr Right” and go on a surrogacy journey on my own.
Surrogacy in Australia is altruistic, meaning that no one gets paid. Only the expenses and pregnancy-related costs are reimbursed to the surrogate. Not only do you have to find an egg donor who is willing to undergo a series of injections and a very uncomfortable procedure to retrieve her eggs, but you also have to connect with a surrogate who will carry your baby. I was determined to do a local surrogacy journey because I wanted to create a family for my little boy. I envisioned my child/children having a close connection with both their genetic AND birth mothers. I believe it’s beneficial to the children born into surrogacy to have a close link to the those that have helped create them.
Local surrogacy in Australia is a difficult and slow process, typically taking between two to three years. You have to create close connections and relationships with an egg donor and surrogate. In most cases these two amazing women are not known to you before you begin your surrogacy journey. For an otherwise driven and ambitious man, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. There were so many setbacks and heartaches along the way. A strong desire to become a dad as well as running my own business for the last twenty years gave me the determination and resilience to keep going.
In May 2021 I became the first single Victorian man to be granted permission to become a parent via an Australian surrogacy journey. It’s a huge process that involves legal advice, plus counselling and psychological assessments done to satisfy the patient review panel, who cross check everything before giving permission.
It’s been a long three years.
Shaun partying with friends in 2018.
I am forever grateful to my current pregnant surrogate and dear friend Carla for saving the day! She saw the difficulties I was experiencing on the journey and she offered to step in. For those who believe in fate, she’s actually the perfect person to be on this journey with - its feels so right.
My egg donor Bree has also become a very close friend and I cant wait for my little boy to meet his half-brothers (Bree’s kids).
And as for doing it all as a single dad?
Sean and his partner Shaun.
Hear more of Shaun's story of fatherhood among others who decided against having kids on the
