Queer Eye culinary expert and cookbook author Antoni Porowski has offered new insight into why he avoids labeling his sexuality, explaining that he worries identifying as gay would 'dishonour' the women he's dated previously.
Porowski, who has been in relationships with men for the past several years, made the comments during an interview with.
“I feel like if I do refer to myself as gay, which would make it easier for people to understand sometimes, I feel like it dishonours women that I've been in love with,” he said, adding that while he'd rather avoid all labels, 'fluid' and 'queer' feel like the best fits.
“I don’t really know and I kind of like not knowing," he admitted.
Porowski, 35, credited his fellow Queer Eye cast-members for helping him get to "a place where I'm a lot more comfortable in my skin".
“I'm very afraid in life, of everything, the small things, the big things," he said, revealing that he'd been subjected to 'gay conversion therapy' as a young person.
“Part of me didn't want to go [on the show]. I was thinking, ‘I'm not gay enough. I'm not enough of a chef. I'm not all of these things.’”
Previously, that he had always been more comfortable with his body image while in relationships with women.
“I think part of me, if I’m fully honest, always knew that I was interested in guys. But at the same time, I had relationships with women where I was really happy and I was actually in love with women. It was one of those situations where, ‘When I find the right one, I’m gonna know it’s time,’” he told the publication.
“I think I was most comfortable with my body when I was in relationships with women, because there wasn’t a sense of comparison, we were different… It was my first relationship with a guy where I kind of looked at myself, and I was like, ‘Oh, my biceps aren’t as big as his,’ or ‘my legs are longer, I wish my torso were longer.’”
He added: “I have days where I wake up and I feel like human garbage, and then I have days where I’m feeling really good about myself.